Both, in a way. It is my father who decides my purpose, and love does not factor into the importance of my utility.
Being rather useless here is liberating, actually. I am able to engage in other pursuits — like research, and writing, and community of my choosing, rather than community chosen for me.
I am a little frightened of love that may come for me, as I fear what might become of me, should I come to need it more than the air I breathe. Reading that in stories and hearing of it from partners makes me want to first belong to myself, before I entwine my heart with another.
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no subject
Being rather useless here is liberating, actually. I am able to engage in other pursuits — like research, and writing, and community of my choosing, rather than community chosen for me.
I am a little frightened of love that may come for me, as I fear what might become of me, should I come to need it more than the air I breathe. Reading that in stories and hearing of it from partners makes me want to first belong to myself, before I entwine my heart with another.
no subject
I think that quite sensible! Knowing oneself is a noble pursuit.